June 1, 2023

From that moment on it was a bloodbath, with running backs Javonte Williams (83 yards from scrimmage, two touchdowns) and Melvin Gordon (111 rushing yards, two touchdowns) taking turns pounding the rock while the rest of the team made it a point to honor Demaryius Thomas throughout the game:
Once the dust settled, the Broncos emerged with an emotional 38-10 victory. And aside from keeping their playoff hopes alive, it was abundantly clear who this win was for.

“The best way to honor [Thomas’] legacy is to go out and play great football,” Denver Broncos quarterback Teddy Bridgewater said after the game.

I couldn’t agree more.

While I took tremendous joy in watching my Broncos get busy on Sunday, elsewhere, the Buffalo Bills (7-6) and Baltimore Ravens (8-5) were doing their best to fuck off their playoff hopes.

After going the entire first half without handing the ball off once (as in not one damn time because they apparently forgot running backs are a thing), the Bills somehow fought and clawed their way back onto the scoreboard and miraculously forced the Tampa Bay Bucs (10-3) to settle their differences like men in overtime.

Unfortunately for them, Tom Brady doesn’t abide by the Geneva Convention, so the inevitable quickly became a reality:
With Sunday’s 33-27 loss to Tampa Bay, the once-promising Bills continue to fade into obscurity in the AFC East (and the rest of the league), while the New England Bill Belicheats clearly have the division in a flying armbar. But Buffalo isn’t alone in its relentless quest for football futility, as Baltimore seems hell-bent on handing over the AFC North on a silver platter to either the Cleveland Browns (7-6) or Cincinnati Bengals (7-6).

It’s hard not to feel bad for the Ravens, since they essentially resemble The Walking Dead at this point with their endless list of catastrophic injuries. Yet somehow shit went from bad to worse on Sunday because in the middle of extending their two-game skid, Lamar Jackson suffered a nasty ankle sprain:

We’re still waiting to hear how long the 2019 Pro Bowler could be out, but it’s safe to assume that Jesus wept.

It’s also safe to assume that the Kansas City Chiefs (9-4) are the Kansas City Cheifs again after they decapitated the Los Angeles Oakland Las Vegas Raiders (6-7) 48-9 on Sunday and were even kind enough to dispose of the body, while the Cowboys (9-4) made light work of Washington (6-7) and Jaguars coach Urban Meyer took a break from terrorizing his co-workers and subordinates at the water cooler in order to terrorize Titans coach Mike Vrabel instead with a terrible-ass handshake after suffering his fifth straight loss:

Cameron Jerrell Newton didn’t particularly enjoy the Lord’s day either, because after throwing an ugly interception against the Atlanta Falcons (6-7), he found himself at a familiar address called Back on the Bench:

I think that about covers everything that went down this weekend, but let me end this with some love for one of the greatest receivers in Denver Broncos history, Demaryius Thomas.

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